I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
