let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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