I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
