my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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