Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
