A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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