We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
