i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Even my vagina gasped.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
