Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
