for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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