Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
