can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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