I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
