Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
