Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
