hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
