He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
