i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
