goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
