So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
