make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
