he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
