I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize