Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
