yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
