Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
