dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
