it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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