Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
