We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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