just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
