Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
