You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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