Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
