dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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