There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
