If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
