Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize