evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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