Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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