at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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