I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
