There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
