I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
