i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
