Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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