The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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