i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
