i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
