I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
