Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
