Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
