I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
