Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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