Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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