Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
