READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
