you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im holly from the hills drunk
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I lost the right to judge tonight
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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