didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
