Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
